Question, what’s the secret to getting the cheapest tickets for my next trip?
Booking on a Saturday morning was once given to me as tip.

Why does the price constantly change each time I search an airline’s website?
Someone told me that they track by my IP address, does that sound right?

You know, every single time I fly my flights are always delayed!
And my luggage gets lost with the airline having the faintest idea of where they strayed.

Last time I flew I was discriminated against, fly again, nah I’d rather walk.
How dare they question me and my support animal, Pinky my peacock!

I love flying on the new Airbus 787 stretched version
I’m pretty sure I’m flying on a CRJ for my next LAX to Amsterdam non-stop excursion.

We once showed up three minutes before departure at the gate.
And for some preposterous reason we're not allowed to board, excused as being late.

No way I’ll pay more than €49 for a flight to Paris when it’s on my tab!
But I won’t blink an eye at paying €60 for a ride to the hotel in a cab.

This is just a sampling of the stories one hears as an employee working in aviation,
At first one tries to correct the mistakes but eventually settles at accepting their blunder and equivocation.